Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Robert Mugabe – “As the Head of State and Commander in Chief – I command this chicken not to cross the road until all sanctions are removed”.

Morgan Tsvangirai – “We give this chicken an ultimatum to cross back to the other side by tomorrow or we quit the government of national unity (GNU)”.

Giles Mutsekwa – “How can a specified chicken cross the road?It was even externalising all its large eggs and its chicks were hatching across the road, so we specified its chicken coop too .”

Nelson Chamisa – “That was not a chicken, what you saw was the image of our Road Runner broadband internet; it appears so fast like a chicken crossing a busy highway”.

Augustine Chihuri – “These British imperialist agents are sending spies disguised as chickens again and crossing our toll roads to cause vehicle accidents”.

General Chiwenga – “It was not just any chicken, it’s what in the army we call an IRM – and Improvised Roadside Meal” and the gizzard (chikanganwahama) is mine!!!

Joseph Chinotimba – “Shuwa sister? I wandi to know, was it a boy chicken or was it a female chicken? If I had my stolen Nokia serufoni I could have telephoned the chicken my serufu”.

Grace Mugabe – “This chicken was spying on my cows being milked for Nestle and now the whole world knows that I stole cows and 10 farms”.

Patrick Chinamasa – “The road is illegal and our constitution is clear: a chicken cannot live on both sides of the road, so this chicken crossed a road we do not recognise”.

Happytone Bonyongwe – “It was a goat; the CIO will interrogate everyone who claims to have seen this chicken, torture them until they confess that they actually saw a goat”.

Arthur Mutambara – “There were three chickens on the other side of the road, and as one of the principals I shall look into why this chicken crossed the road by itself”.

Peter Chikumba – “This chicken was part of the meal on the flight from the UN; instead we had to serve Bedouin goat meat (oxtailyembudzi) from Gaddafi to our VIP passengers”.

Gideon Gono – “I am the biggest chicken farmer in Africa and that must be my chicken. Once we bring back the ZimDollar, this chicken will cross back to my side again with ‘Pride’”.

Webster Shamu – “This chicken was listening to “illegal, extraterritorial pirate broadcasts” from the other side; all chickens must only listen to the ZBC.

Phil Matibe – www.madhingabucketboy.com